Parentification part 1: What is it?

Meet Jenny, a first-generation immigrant who moved to Sydney, Australia with her parents when she was just six years old. From a young age, Jenny found herself in the role of a caregiver, translating documents, managing household bills, and even mediating her parents’ arguments. While her peers were busy with play, sports, and hobbies, Jenny was burdened with adult responsibilities. She thought, “I have to be strong for my family,” or “If I don’t do it, no one will.” These unhelpful thoughts became Jenny’s norm, leading her to suppress her own needs and wants.

Jenny grew up too fast.

Understanding Parentification

Parentification occurs when a child is forced to take on adult roles and responsibilities, often at the expense of their own emotional and developmental needs. For many first-generation immigrants like Jenny, this phenomenon is all too common. You might have grown up too fast if you constantly found yourself in a caretaker role, prioritising your family’s needs over your own. Depending on your perspective, this can be considered admirable. However, what’s important to note is that you may have missed out on developing parts of yourself in the process.

Parentification can manifest in various ways, each with its unique implications. While some positive traits may develop, such as responsibility and empathy, it's crucial to recognise the potential emotional and developmental costs. Understanding the different types of parentification helps in identifying and addressing the specific challenges faced by parentified children.